Nurturing My Latinx Identity

EDUC 575 | By: Daphne Martinez-Cruz

Introduction

Hey y’all, my name is Daphne Martinez-Cruz. I am a first-generation-Catholic-Mexican- American-first (and oldest) daughter-of-immigrants. That was a mouthful, but honestly, my whole existence is a mouthful. Those words I used, can really tell you a ton about me. There has been a lot of unpacking and discovering that occurred alone, but with the love and support of my family, I have always been able to prevail against all circumstances. As the eldest, I have been given so many responsibilities and duties that may have contributed to me having to face many realities at a young age. Growing up, I found myself realizing the harsh realities of many aspects of my life: my parents’ legal status, coming from a low-income background, and overall being a brown girl in a country built for white men. I found myself fearing the police (it wasn’t until later that I found out about ICE) because they were the ones who could take my parents at any moment. Anytime a cop car was behind ours, I would fill with fear and start praying that they didn’t pull us over.

In K-12, I never really felt out of place for any reason because I was really conformed to everything. I taught myself English and went to do what my mom said “tu trabajo es estudiar”, and I always tried to excel in everything I did.

College

Graduating high school and receiving a full-ride to UNC has been one of the highlights of my life because of the joy and pride I saw on my parents’ face. I strive to continue to do that every day for them because they are my absolute world. However, when I first arrived at college, I did not realize that I would fall into the wrenches of imposter syndrome. Meeting new people is my favorite part of being in a new place, but when some of those people look at you in certain ways and come from places that you could never afford to prepare for you a place like UNC, it is very discouraging. Imposter syndrome finds its way of seeping into your everyday activities. Every “no” you get from things you interview/apply to makes you feel incapable and maybe that you are not as talented as others may think you are. In times like these, I like to remind myself of my purpose and how I am my own individual - I am not in a race with anyone else.

Accepting and Growing

Being here has helped me grow in so many aspects and one of the main ones being to learn to love all parts of my identity. The ways our communities have had to learn to adapt to the ways society sees us has been pivotal. This is considered cultural wealth. It can be seen as a trait of fortitude and prosperity. However, as much as we want to see it as a positive we have to remember that this was forced as a survival skill for those who came before us.

With all of this, comes the Cycle of Liberation. We need to learn how to separate ourselves from these shackles of conforming to the white society. We find power in community, we need to celebrate us. When we find true love within ourselves and begin to live instead of just survive we will see the dismantling of an oppressive system that we have liberated ourselves from.